I agree that a key part of addressing violence is to change societal stereotypes and expectations. However, I don’t think it’s useful to minimize the consequences of violence, and making statements like the following undermines both the strength of your argument and the ability to have your argument heard by those of us that believe that violence is ALWAYS a problem, no matter what other problems go along with or precede it:

“The problem is not men’s violence against women. The problem is a society that finds the notion that men have feelings, needs, and their own experiences as irrelevant, inconvenient, and pathetic.”