We tend to create a lot of rules about how we should think, feel, and act. We may believe that there is some sort of objective truth to these rules, but the reality is they’re really just myths. These examples come from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy:
- I don’t deserve to get the things that I want/need
- Asking for help makes me a weak person
- I should only ask for something if I know ahead of time that the person will say yes
- Making requests of others is selfish
- Saying no to others is selfish
- Others’ needs are more important than my own
- If I can’t fix this myself there must be something wrong with me
- In a given situation there is a certain way I should feel
- If I let others know I’m feeling badly then I am week
- Negative feelings are harmful
- Some emotions are wrong or stupid
- If others don’t approve of my feelings, then there must be something wrong with them
- Painful emotions should be ignored
- My emotions define who I am
- I can always trust my emotions
Do you have any thinking/feeling rules that you commonly get trapped in?
Source: adapted from Marsha Linehan’s DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, 2nd ed.
Image credit: InspiredImages on Pixabay
Originally published at mentalhealthathome.wordpress.com on August 28, 2018.