Why Feminism Helps All of Us
It’s easy to think of feminism as something that’s solely about boosting up the status of women. I would argue, though, that feminism is something that can lift us all up.
Feminism beliefs may be enacted in different ways, but at its core feminism recognizes how women have been disadvantaged by traditional gender roles, stereotypes, and expectations. These gender stereotypes are so firmly ingrained that it’s easy to assume that they’re inherent in biology, but it’s important not to lose sight of how socially based these ideas are. It’s also worth keeping in mind that women are not the only ones that are negatively impacted by our highly gendered society.
The stereotypical male gender role does not display emotion or vulnerability, and males are expected to “man up” and show no weakness. They are expected to be competitive and self-reliant. All of this has created an environment where toxic masculinity can thrive, as males are pushed from a young age to conform to these harmful standards. I have to wonder whether incels (involuntary celibates) would exist, or at least be as organized as they are, without the seed of toxic masculinity.
Gender also plays a role in how likely men are to seek help for their mental health. The stereotypical female is expected to be emotional and “weak”, and men are expected to take care of business themselves. It’s already hard enough to access mental health care without having additional barriers related to gender.
Unfortunately, feminism is sometimes put into practice in a manner that excludes rather than includes. A few years ago I was attending volunteer training sessions at a women’s crisis shelter. They refused to allow trans women to stay in their shelter, and their reasoning was that trans women didn’t have the experience of being raised female from birth. Al volunteers had to sign an agreement saying they were prepared to comply with that policy. I didn’t end up volunteering with that organization because I didn’t agree with that and some of their other beliefs, and recently the city announced they were cutting funding to that group. I think it’s really unfortunate when feminism is practiced in a way that is divisive rather than uniting, because change on a broader scale really only comes from people coming together.
I also believe that feminism shouldn’t be about rejecting gender stereotype-associated behaviours altogether. If I were to choose to shave my legs and be a stay-at-home mom because that’s my personal preference, that shouldn’t make me less of a feminist. Feminism should be about escaping constraints, not placing new ones on people. Having freedom and choice includes being able to choose from as wide an array of options as possible, even if some of those options do fit elements of a stereotype.
Many occupations continue to be divided along gender lines. These social expectations limit both men and women. The fact that a gender-based wage gap still exists strikes me as bizarre; how in this day and age can men and women be paid differently for the same work? If that kind of pay inequity exists, that can’t bode well for people from any groups that tend to be disadvantaged, like racial minorities or people with disabilities. We need pay equity across the board, and narrowing the gender-based gap is only one step.
Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. dreamed of a world where his children “will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character.” I’d say that applies just as well to any other superficial characteristic by which a person may be judged. As suffragette Millicent Fawcett said, “courage calls to courage everywhere.” We need to heed that call together.
Originally published at http://mentalhealthathome.org on May 16, 2019.